ADHD individuals can be a real joy to have around when it comes to creating adventures, partying, or even coming up with grand ideas to implement in starting a new business. But when it comes to sustaining long term relationships inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and distractibility can really put a damper on things. During this blog I will be referring to the book, “Succeeding With Adult ADHD.” The authors have a short quiz to help in understanding how your social skills might be challenged. Check it out.
1. Do you blurt out things that your later regret?
2. Do you tend to interrupt others when having a conversation?
3. Do others complain that you don’t listen or that you forget what they’ve told you?
4. Does your spouse or roommate complain that your space is always a mess?
5. Do you forget anniversaries and birthdays, or do you remember but can’t quite seem to get a card or gift in time?
6. Do others complain because you are never on time for dates or planned activities?
7. Do you frequently lose your temper over something minor?
8. Are you accused of being self-centered, even though you don’t think this is true of you?
Chances are if you answered “yes” to most of these questions you are struggling with difficulties with executive functioning. This involves problem solving, planning, short-term memory, inhibition, self regulation and motor control. It has been my experience in working with ADHD individuals of all ages that seeing themselves in a realistic framework can be almost impossible. Many ADDer’s may really believe that they have said or done something. When in fact there seems to be a disconnect in their perception of a particular event and what has really happened. This appears to be the deficit of executive functioning. They may not accurately remember what really happened or what they have done or said in the past. This is the difficulties in the areas of memory, sequencing and logic at work. It becomes obvious that when executive functioning is a problem, then social relationships can become easily impaired. The question then becomes, “How does one work through this to have lasting and meaningful relationships?” I will discuss this in my next blog.