Our world is full of stories of families that have been affected by divorce. As of late, it seems that divorce is more accepted than not. Society at large, gives the impression that an intact family is an oddity. The truth is that we all want to be recognized as being from a strong family unit where commitment and love lasts throughout the ages. When it comes to the ADHD family it is no different. However, the challenges are greater. Let me explain.
The Adders can be difficult to live with for the spouse that is not dealing with ADHD. The racing thoughts of the ADD adult cannot comprehend that their spouse may see them as uncaring or inconsiderate. This comes about because the non-ADD spouse is not educated as to what is happening neurologically. If your spouse seems to not follow through with the “honey do” list, has difficulty with paying the bills, zones out on video games or just looks like they are disconnecting with life in general, there is a reason for this madness. Their thoughts are racing so fast that they are truly not processing everything that you are saying. They may only hear a portion of the conversation and truly believe that they have completed all tasks that were asked of them. So when asked why they did not complete that ‘honey do’ list your perception is “that they just don’t care” or “I am tired of all of this. I am out of here.” Often times the ADDer doesn’t know what happened when they find themselves divorced, visiting their kids every other week.
If this sounds like your circumstances let me know so that I can give you some strategies to turn this situation around. Feel free to talk here or email me.